3 2 1

Sorry I can't see all of you & say it in person, but you know I am a social butterfly out spreading my wings after a long week of hitting the books!

Health, Wealth, and Happiness to your & yours in the year to come! Take care of YOU!

How I spent the evening...

GO BIG BLUE!!!

Hmm, is it time for some goofin' off?

I spotted a few Bengals across the court from me.

Sitting Left to Right: Rudy Johnson, Unknown Female, Tab Perry, Chad Johnson, & TJ Houshmandzadeh

Back to business! GO SPARKS GO!
C A T S, UUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKK!

And of course the whole family went...My mom, my brother, my sister-in-law, my four nephews, my son, and my wife, OH YEAH & ME!

Two of the boys hid their faces, little shits! Oh well, they won in a second half rally, that's why they are called the come back cats...

In the words of Don Henley

This is the end of the inocence. I hope not, but I feel it drawing closer and closer everyday. For this reason I must share my son's latest art work with you.

While remodeling our house, J & I decided not to replace four of the doors, all of which belonged to closets in two of our three bedrooms. In the master bedroom we covered the doors with a mylar mirrored wallpaper to add light to the room. In the office we made one door a chalkboard and the other a bulletin board. Every now and then I get a surprise from my son and this one cracks me up.

First meet the family cat, Marley.


This is Marley Cat through the eyes of our son.



What a wonderful surprise to see. Thanks for the laughs son!

IN MEMORY OF:

Michael P. Tala

My heart is so heavy.

I really need say no more than here it is through my humbled and tear filled eyes. This takes me back to places I don't want to revisit. There will be more posted on this later, but for now this is all I can muster the strength to share.

I pray that the day will never come where my young son and wife should have to suffer this way. God Bless the Tala family.

God Speed A.J. & Myles, God Speed.

A holiday of mixed emotions.

I have had a holiday of very mixed emotions. My Christmas with my family was great, but I feel tremendous sorrow for a friend of mine and her family. I recently took a family portrait of a girl I worked with. I called her on Wednesday (12/21) to let her know they were finally ready. "Finally" because I screwed them up somehow and they wouldn't print correctly. She was very short and I was a little irritated, as well as, confused by that. The next morning I received a telephone call letting me know that my friend's husband was killed in a freak accident.

So, although I have had a holiday with out occurrence I can't feel fully happy. It has been strange for me knowing that I captured his lasting image that the children (1 & 4) will forever know as their link with their dad. It haunts my souls and saddens me.

Michael's visitation is tonight and the memorial service is tomorrow. His wife has asked me to take pictures this evening and tomorrow during the ceremony. Pray that I have the strength to capture the right moments for his family. I have not done this before, but I know that I want to be respectful and capture the people offering their reverence and condolences. I am nervous, but I know that I will make it through.

Not Digging On These Vibes

Today I am getting the strangest vibes. I am in a great mood. I have enjoyed a morning alone drinking coffee, watching movies, and studying. I took my son to his G-ma's and on the way home I got the weirdest vibe. Anyway, I feel like someone out there is needing this boost right now.

It's Been Awhile By Staind

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

It's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile since
I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile since
I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry
----End----

Take care of you.

BREAKING NEWS!

Damon protests JJs blog post regarding sleeping with him!

Now he looks like a Yank!

Friday Fun!

STARTING EARLY!

What happens when you take more than pictures and leave more than footprints!

What happens when you wear the wrong color sox ;)

OK, now for some T-Shirts...My favorite article of clothing. These are from tshirthell.com

Happy Friday Everyone!

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

I was standing in the kitchen this evening making mashed potatoes thinking about someone when I looked down and saw this haalf naaked potato was staring back at me. I chuckled for a minute, and thought deeply about it for much longer after that. I grabbed my dear friend the camera and placed my naakedness here for your viewing pleasure.

I wrote a note the other day to someone about their sobriety and then I came home and watched Pay It Forward. Ever since that movie turned off the wheels in my mind keep on turning and burning program thoughts. The potato struck a very significant chord for me as it reminded me of my fourth step.

First you have to work through the skin (The Bullshit Layer). Then you can see the scars and open wounds. This is where the work begins. I picked up this potato and started to wash it and chuckled again thinking that is what the fourth step is all about. Cleansing the heart, mind, and soul of all it's negativity. It is SO hard to do. Especially in the world we live in today.

I can never express the importance of the role of the program in my life to most of the people I know, but I can tell them this it made me who I am today. I know for a fact that if I did not go to my Tuesday night meeting all those years ago I would be in jail or dead. The hardest thing to get over in your beginnings of the program is the vulnerability the first time you get nAAked it really REALLY sucks. Almost everyone I know who has worked the steps talks about the brick wall they had fashioned around themselves for protection. Well when I joined the 12 step construction crew and began to remove this boundary I found that I was really only protecting me from me.

I had found comfort in the life I had begun living 10 years ago when I remember the abusive life starting. I came up with all kinds of ways to keep from being hurt, I am a former Queen of game playing. In general, what you know is comfortable, and in the end I realized that I was the one surrounding myself with people who were the type that were inevitably going to hurt me. Once I wiped the crust out of my newly awAAkened eyes I saw that I had begun a new time in my life.

Maybe next time you can get a picture of me, but until then you can have my haalf naaked soul.

The presents of your presence.

The presents of your presence.

Think about that for a moment. That's right let it process. It is that crazy ass time of year again when (most) everyone runs around grabbing up all of the material shit they can (maybe) afford to buy.

Since I got the pink slip it gives me a good excuse to boycott Christmas, as my son has come to know it and go more traditional. We started w/ the tree as you saw in my prior post. J & I believe in that sentence SO much that it was on our wedding invites. We love to surround ourselves with the ones we love. This is one of the formulas I left out of my previous post. Nothing excites me and fills my cup more than being in a room of people who truly know me and love me for who I am.

Maybe I am crazy, but spending my life growing up getting the crap knocked out of me and falling into EVERY codependent role in existence has taught me SELF acceptance and SELF love. It seems like Americans have forgotten what it is to be with our families. I have been guilty myself of saying life gets in the way. BUT WHO MAKES YOUR LIFE?

I plan my daily activities, I am a grown ass woman, and no one will make me do anything I don't want to do. So what is stopping us from driving down the road and visiting relatives? LAZINESS. It is too damn easy to walk in the door, plop on the couch, click that clicker, and stare until your eyes burn at the TV. God forbid we try something new like, walk in the door, freshen up, drive to a family or friends house, spread some love, and drive back home followed by the above. That is too much work!

It is easier these days to get a divorce than to get married. Why who wants to work at a marriage? It's easier to hop on line (something a friend did) and file for divorce. WHAT THE FUCK? Here's a noble idea work the shit out. Don't get me wrong, I believe there are certain instances where a divorce is the only right thing. My parent's was one of those situations. But I would say almost if not more than 85% of the people I know who are getting divorced have bullshit reasons. What the fuck is an irreconcilable difference? They need to learn some steps like 12 of them. I don't think the steps fix every thing but the major components of them work.

ACCEPTANCE
FORGIVENESS
AMMENDS

Shall I go on?

Now I am getting all pissed off as I write. I am about to open my window and yell GROW UP AMERICA! Wait a minute, snap-clap-wink-breath--snap-clap-wink-breath--snap-clap-wink-breath. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Much better.

All I am saying is if you do one thing this season get back to the basics and love what it is truly about. HP & another excuse to be with your family. You don't have to like all of your family to accept them, you are of course powerless over who they are.

Slacking off.

OK so I may slack off today. Today is very important for my fav football team. If the Bengals win today they clinch the division. They don't even have to win, they could clinch the division before ever taking the field if Pittsburgh loses. So I will be consumed with football after I leave work today. I will try to blog more later.

Crazy Days!

Well here I am once again blogging away rather inconsistently. I have a crazy work schedule for my last week w/ this company. I have 10 to 12 hours between each of my shifts. It goes like this Fri-Sat Graveyard shift, Sat Evening Shift, Sun MORNING SHIFT!!! Are they trying to kill me? I am NOT a morning person. Oh well. At this point I am counting down the days to my departure, and praying that HP/God has my life in his/her hands. By the way sending HUGE thankfullness to him/her because I do have my first interview scheduled. THANK YOU HP!

I also have to thank Steve, he helped me get things going. Thank you Steve, you don't know how much it means to me that you think enough of me to refer me!

Moving on...I am feeling like a list today. So here go my random thoughts...

1. I am glad I have learned how to tune mumsy out.
2. I am thankful that I am able to spend the holidays with my family.
3. I am extra excited that I get to make a friend's Christmas wish come true.
4. I miss the Skoog's.
5. I had fun in the Twin Cities.
6. I am NOT a Stewartess (or Martha wannabe)...Damn JJ, I know you've seen my picture! I oughta...ROFL
7. I had Buckeyes tonight, YUMMY!
8. I got given a fancy cigar tonight.
9. Has anyone ever seen a Kentcuky Humidor besides me? ROFLMAO
10. I am tired.
11. My back hurts I wish someone would rub it.
12. I love my wife & child.
13. I am going to the Daytona 500 in February.
14. Hawaii in January.
15. I love getting to fly for free.
16. Wondering if I go to a Sox game will I run into someone I know?
17. Why is it called HAALF NAAKED THURSDAAY, when you are HAALF dressed?
18. Mumsy used the words Alanon & go to in the same fucking sentence! HOLY SHIT!
19. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Feliz Navidad, Merry Happy Kwanzaa, oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
20. Am I going to make a resolution this year? Hmmmm....
21. Why do women always gain weight after a hysterectomy?
22. Why do I always gain weight in what I call the paper plate holding area?
23. Makes the food go to my mouth quicker when I can sit the plate on my belly...
24. Will the Bengals make the Super Bowl?
25. Why do all of my biggest fears begin w/ an S?
26. Are you sick of reading these yet? No, well tough shit I am tired of typing them.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccckkkkkkkkkkk

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

NO I haven't been stuck in a TV trying to get out I have just been VERY VERY busy. I have been pictures taking left & right. Helping the wife w/ the household chores, and crafting, and making the Christmas tree I <ahem> I mean we dreamed up. It is ALL natural. Ornaments, garland, star, all natural. The garland is made of sugar gumballs (no not the candy they come off of a sweet gum tree like this one.) The ornaments are dried lemons, limes, oranges, & grapefruits. We used various pinecones as both ornaments and the star. I say we, but J really did most of the work. My son and I contributed by making a popcorn string or two. Any how here are a few pictures of the tree.

Moving on. I have been out of town on back to back trips in between processing photo orders which of course had to come to me all fucked up! Thanks a lot to my developer. So I have been busy since at least Thanksgiving. Which is totally bullshit since I am NOT buying gifts this year.

I am rather excited about an interview call I got yesterday. The only downside to it is that I would have to either commute or move. I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

I am counting down the days to the NFL playoffs and my trip to Hawaii.

It has been great seeing & hearing from my dearest friends throughout my little stress filled life lately. It has helped me stay focused, and has shown me what I truly mean to them, as well as, how many of them see me. Which of course was totally different than I see myself.

I smiled rather largely today when I flipped the calendar page and the airplane on it was a DC-3. I know most of you don't know what that is so click here. It was one of the first planes used as a jetliner. That isn't why I smiled though. My old boss Elisha LOVED the DC-3. I never really paid much attention to them until I met her. She played a HUGE roll in my life when I worked for her and she was the first boss I ever came out to and shared personal information with. She was my aviation mentor. She was the best boss I ever had. She was many things to me, and seeing that page in the calendar made me feel like she was watching over me and smiling down upon me.

Lish as we called her crashed her motorcycle a few years back & went on her way to a higher place. I think about her every time I straddle my Honda, and I pray that I can be an 1/8 of the woman she was. It was nice to think about her today during a season in which her memory rarely pass through my mind. I can't say enough about her, and neither could my coworkers at EJM. Lish is truly missed and has a Memorial Fund scholarship set up in her name through the WIA or Women In Aviation orginization. Donations may be written to Women In Aviation, Intl and may be mailed Women In Aviation c/o Heart of It All Chapter, P.O. Box 26104, Cincinnati, OH 45226

Have a wonderful day. I will work your eyes out again tomorrow.

So I lied

I know, I lied. I didn't post any pictures, and I didn't even bother to post anything. Yesterday was to be annual snowman picture day w/ the family. My wife got home so late that it was dark out & we couldn't do the picture... I was so disappointed that I didn't post at all.

I am back to super busy and working. I am off to a birthday party tonight. HAPPY 30th Christy! Off to Cinicnnati POPS tomorrow(some kind of Christmas music thing...) I'd rather be at the Bengal's game. Then on Monday after working the graveyard, and getting the boy off to school, I am jetsetting to the twin cities. BUSY BUSY BUSY!

I know I have been slacking on the post, but I am lacking motivation...

Inspiration is becoming harder & harder to find from where I am sitting right now. I am trying to take it all one day at a time and keep my chin up. It is just a really shitty time of year to be trying to find a job.

The sun'll come out...

Sporadic at best.

Sorry guys. I know I have been posting sporadic at best, but I have been very busy trying to make some extra money to put in da bank for future use. Anyway, make sure you check out the portrait section of my portfolio. I have been running around like crazy. I needed a few day to relax and catch my breath. Our family has been working on our all natural christmas tree this week. I will post some pictures in the next couple of days. You will at minimum get a picture post tomorrow, because it snowed like crazy here, and we have to do the annual snowman thing for our christmas card pictures.

First things first...

Here is my info from the damn JJ tag... :)

What do you want for Christmas:Rules:

1) Choose three things that you would like to get for Christmas and that you are hinting people to get you.
2) Choose three things that you are giving as gifts for Christmas
3) Choose three things that you hope no one will get you
4) After you make your selections Tag 5 More people

What I want...
1) Presence of my family and friends through the holidays.
2) A holiday with no mumsy issues.
3) This and that...ROFL (ain't happening)

What I'm dishing out...
1) MAYBE some pictures. I have to save my money for the bill paying stuff.

What I don't want to receive...
1) Sympathy
2) A regift, unless it is a good one. I always seem to get the bad ones.
3) Bad Health.

O.K. I officially tag....
1) MsMegnolia...She's the only other blogger I know besides JJ who reads my blog.

It's a great day to be a Bengal fan!

It's a great day to be a Bengals fan!

That's what our local announcer says. It sure is true today. For the first time since 1990 the hometown team has better than a 500 record. They are now poised to make the playoffs probably w/ home field advantage. Which I am TOTALLY stoked about as I just dropped 8 bills for 4 tickets to two of the games. I have loved my tigers through a lot of really shitty seasons, it is about time we kicked some ass & took some names. Thank you Marvin Lewis!

Off Kilter

I can't figure out a time to write. I worked four shifts of 2p to midnight, and the two shift of 540p to 0340a. I am all off kilter. I am going to take some me time tonight, have coffee and visit with the wife, and then maybe I will write, I am in the midst of errand running to I have to get back to it. I will post more indepthly later.

WHO-DEY! GO BENGALS!!!